So I'm sure you've all heard about the woman who had the octuplets, right? Well here's my advice to her:
1. Get on birth control! She cannot afford to keep getting pregnant. 14 babies is a lot. It's going to cost many thousands of dollars to raise them to the age of 18, and each one after this will cost many thousands more. So NO MORE BABIES!
2. Get a husband. The more help raising these kids she can get, the better. If ever a person needed a husband, it's this lady.
3. Milk the octuplets for all they're worth! Commercials, interviews, books, movie rights, whatever! She'll need all the money she can get, so she needs to get the money any way she can.
4. Color code the octuplets. Otherwise people won't be able to tell them apart.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Polyamory
Polyamory, the practice of having more than one open relationship at a time, seems to be all over the news these days. It's getting a really horrible reputation in the public's eye because of these fundamentalist cults who practice it. This, I imagine, can cause people who practice polyamory to feel like outcasts or weirdos, when in reality, they're just people who like to have multiple romatic relationships simultaneously. And really, if all parties involved are okay with it, is it really that bad?
The not-so-positive thinking about polyamory seems to have given way to the polyamorous community isolating itself, which, in my opinion, sucks. Lots of them have good ideas about relationships, and people outside the community have good ideas too, and I think we should all be able to share our opinions without fear of judgement and mockery. I'm an advice person, and I like to help everybody, but it's really hard to go into that community and give advice, because it seems to come across as being condescending and treating them like they're below me and they need the help of a "normal" monogamous person.
But I was looking through posts in a polyamory community, and I found a post that I wanted to talk about on here. It was by a woman who feels that she is pushing away her partners by being too romantic. (If that woman happens to be reading this post and wants to be credited, she can leave a comment, but otherwise she will remain anonymous.) She wants to be loved, and wants to shower her lovers with affection and do nice things for them, but at the same time, she wants to remain independent, and doesn't need as much from her partners. This seems to confuse her partners, and pushes them away. She wants to know what she's doing wrong.
My advice to her is to keep being herself! Not every person will like her style, and that's okay. But perhaps she is dating the wrong people. Maybe she's finding people who aren't after what she's after. Maybe she's looking for partners in the wrong places, or in the wrong circles. But whatever she's doing wrong, she can fix that! She can find the right person, or people, and she and her partner(s) can be happy together.
One thing she could do is to tell her potential partner, straight up, that she is a romantic, and that she will do certain things for him/her, and s/he needs to tell her if that's going to be a problem. This way, she won't end up falling in love with this person only to find out that s/he is uncomfortable and wants out.
Another thing she could do is date within social circles that she's already comfortable in. Date friends of friends, or friends of neighbors, and the like. This way, both people will know something about the other before they meet, and their needs in the relationship have a better chance of being met. Of course, she'll need to have friends who are willing to set her up, but I'm guessing she'll have at least one who likes that sort of thing.
The not-so-positive thinking about polyamory seems to have given way to the polyamorous community isolating itself, which, in my opinion, sucks. Lots of them have good ideas about relationships, and people outside the community have good ideas too, and I think we should all be able to share our opinions without fear of judgement and mockery. I'm an advice person, and I like to help everybody, but it's really hard to go into that community and give advice, because it seems to come across as being condescending and treating them like they're below me and they need the help of a "normal" monogamous person.
But I was looking through posts in a polyamory community, and I found a post that I wanted to talk about on here. It was by a woman who feels that she is pushing away her partners by being too romantic. (If that woman happens to be reading this post and wants to be credited, she can leave a comment, but otherwise she will remain anonymous.) She wants to be loved, and wants to shower her lovers with affection and do nice things for them, but at the same time, she wants to remain independent, and doesn't need as much from her partners. This seems to confuse her partners, and pushes them away. She wants to know what she's doing wrong.
My advice to her is to keep being herself! Not every person will like her style, and that's okay. But perhaps she is dating the wrong people. Maybe she's finding people who aren't after what she's after. Maybe she's looking for partners in the wrong places, or in the wrong circles. But whatever she's doing wrong, she can fix that! She can find the right person, or people, and she and her partner(s) can be happy together.
One thing she could do is to tell her potential partner, straight up, that she is a romantic, and that she will do certain things for him/her, and s/he needs to tell her if that's going to be a problem. This way, she won't end up falling in love with this person only to find out that s/he is uncomfortable and wants out.
Another thing she could do is date within social circles that she's already comfortable in. Date friends of friends, or friends of neighbors, and the like. This way, both people will know something about the other before they meet, and their needs in the relationship have a better chance of being met. Of course, she'll need to have friends who are willing to set her up, but I'm guessing she'll have at least one who likes that sort of thing.
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